Hi this is my second blog on OCD. In this blog I’ll be talking about what I face every day. We all think that OCD is basically just cleaning and over doing things but there is more to OCD. I will start with me waking up to a negative thought followed by images and a video constantly playing on my mind. I will try hard to get rid of those images but I will end up praying. I will get vivid images of my near once getting killed or hurt either by me or others. I will get images of me killing myself or someone else killing me. I will think that it is me who is thinking all of this and will end up praying all day. In fact I will also harm myself to punish for what I have thought. This is known as harm OCD. I was diagnosed few years back and I had it since birth. I am sure many of you are having this but deny to admit because nobody is there to support you be there for you or admit that you are suffering and you need care. I was told by my therapist not to think much about this because it is not under my control but they don’t understand that these thoughts never go away even for a second and it keeps me awake and haunts me. I would like to say that it is very difficult to stay in this position when all you can think of is bad about your own family about the people who care for you and about strangers who did nothing to you. I kept blaming myself day by day and thought I was a bad person. Everything happens for a reason and I know that I’m sensitive and emotional but I know that I’m a good person. This is a mental illness and I don’t have a fault in this. I trained myself day by day to this day where I could finally write about it and support everyone about OCD and let them know that it is the demon driving us , it is not us! If I’ve hurt you in any way in this post please let me know in the comment section and I’ll try my best to do the best for everyone. Goodnight and take care.
#OCD, agnes22, broken, emotions, empathy, empty, feelings, fire, Introvert, like dislike, mental health, psychology, selflove, strong, universe
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